“You will learn a lot about yourself if you stretch in the direction of goodness, of bigness, of kindness, of forgiveness, of emotional bravery. Be a warrior of love.” - Cheryl Strayed
Lately I have beating myself up over past failures, transgressions, and horrible mistakes. I have been consumed with regrets. I have been stuck.
I haven’t been able to sleep. I haven’t written anything of substance in weeks. My heart is bruised. My psyche is is tender and afraid.
Where is the simple joy? Where is the peace? Where is the light?
My first step on this journey toward love is to forgive myself. I have made mistakes. I’m human. We humans are messy, complicated, and often horrible creatures. We step on others. We are selfish and cruel in our search for our own happiness.
I am letting go of guilt, because the past cannot be changed. I am not Marty McFly. I can’t jump in the DeLorean and zoom back to correct every false step I have made. I accept I have dealt out hurt and caused pain. Once again, it’s that crazy human thing. It’s kind of what we do, damnit. But we also can forgive others and especially ourselves. This is how we grow. This is how we spread peace.
What I can do now is embrace the power of love. Once I forgive myself, I am free. I am free to breathe bliss, to sing loudly in the car, to dance crazily as my cats look on in wonder, to write what is in my soul, to love with abandon, to tell myself, “I am fine.”
So, I am following Cheryl Strayed’s wise words. I’m going to look toward goodness, embrace bigness, accept kindness, and kneel in forgiveness. I will be brave. I am a warrior of love.
“Never forget to forgive yourself, always remember to love yourself.” - Debasish Mridha