Wedding Promises

Last week there was a story on the internet of Ohio father-of-the bride Todd Bachman grabbing stepfather-of-the-bride Todd Cendrosky’s hand at the last minute so they both could walk their daughter Brittany down the aisle. It was a lovely and selfless act that brought many to tears. Both men were able to put aside their differences for this one precious moment.


It was especially poignant to those of us who are divorced. We know the whole wedding scenario can be stressful, but add divorced parents to that mix and you crank it up to DEFCON 1. I have been to weddings where exes refused to be photographed with each other. I’ve seen battling exes put their children in the middle, act selfish, and turn the attention from the bride and groom to themselves. This type of behavior is rotten, small, and inexcusable, but often divorced parents cant seem to see past their own grievances.

My son’s father and I have been divorced for twenty years now. We had a short, sweet, and sometimes contentious marriage that lasted just five years yet gave us our two sons. I can’t say the past twenty years have been smooth. We’ve had our disagreements and squabbles. What we have agreed on, though, is the love for our boys. We made these two fabulous creatures who made everything else worthwhile.

So, coming into the home stretch, I pledge the following for my son and his bride on their wedding weekend.
  1. I will put my ego aside. This weekend is yours. We are all celebrating your love.
  2. I will do whatever you want me to do. You are the boss, not me.
  3. I want you to remember this day, this ceremony, this moment with joy.
  4. I will hug everyone. I will cast aside old hurts. I will forget ancient grudges. I will look to the future with bright eyes.
  5. I will come with no agenda and no expectations. This wedding weekend will magically embrace all who attend.
  6. I will remember that your wedding now joins three families, each with its own set of traditions and quirks. Each will make your new family stronger.
  7. I will remember that even though you are still my little boy, I will look at you as a grown man, an adult, a husband.

Oh, and one more thing…I will not being wearing beige. I will sparkle in blue and silver sequins as I raise my glass to my handsome son and his beautiful bride. Salute!